Saturday, March 17, 2012

I Am Happy

Despite the problems and struggles in the world and in my life, I am reasonably satisfied.  Why then, do I take on the persona of a disgruntled, bitter, ungrateful whiner who complaining into the vacuum that is the Internet? (That is not really how I see myself, but, I feel like that is what some people must think when they read somethings I've written - Fuck them.) Why do I lift my pen-sword (keyboard-missile?) in the hopeless battle to challenge others' opinions on Liberal media sites, Alt-Right Blogs and You-Tube Channels (no recent comments worth linking)?  Why do I open myself up to barbs such as "Woman-Hating Creep", or Disingenuous White Liberal just to scatter tidbits of my point-of-view across the expansive, digital universe that is known as the Internet?  Why do I ask myself complex questions that are nearly impossible to answer?  Well, I've bitten this piece off, so, I'm going to try to chew it.

The reasons are basically as follows:

1.  Criticism. 
I strongly believe that sound criticism is the highest calling in life.  Being truly critical of ideas, opinions, beliefs, societal constructs, ethoi, quips, dismissals, claims, actions is essential to arriving at truth.  I don't know if I am up to the task to critique everything, but, I have ideas that I believe can withstand the critique of others and must be put forth in some realm.  If I cannot explain them in a manner that can withstand such criticism, I hope they influence others who are more eloquent than I have who have more time to spend ruminating on the difficult to digest parts of nature.

2.  Optimism.
I also believe that criticism is an optimistic form of communication.  Those who refuse to criticize that which they cannot agree with are truly pessimistic enough to believe that they can have no influence or ultimately fatalistic to believe that the truths or untruths will prevail due to forces beyond their control.  I believe that there are more than two ways to know something and further, that knowing the whole truth is not always necessary to effectively alter reality to improve one's situation.  Knowing the boundaries of the truth can be sufficient - for example, I can estimate that the train will arrive in 10-20 minutes so I have time to continue a conversation outside the station which has a chance of building on a relationship and still catch my train home.

3.  Status Seeking.
My internal desire for status is much higher than my modest income, modest house and older model vehicle would suggest.  My inner judgement of status has always relied on my ability to influence opinion.  I have almost zero chance of ever having a political career or journalistic career, so, I get what satisfaction I can squeeze out of the sporadic postings here and various places on the Internet.  Downvotes from G&M readers are actually somewhat gratifying because I can sense the seething hatred from "enlightened" Liberal minds behind them.

4.  I Told You So.
I have this terrifying feeling that the world is going to collapse and people will be looking around for people to blame and new thinkers to follow.  I hope I'm wrong.  I don't think I've made any seriously profound statements in anything nearly eloquent on this blog yet, but, I know I have the potential for some ideas and observations that will make people pause for a moment.  I just don't think that my skills as a writer are honed enough yet.  So, if I ever find my rythm and gather my thoughts coherently enough with facts to back them up, I don't think I can save the world, but if it happens and I say I told you so, I'll have a record of it.

5.  The Journey is the Message.
I am on a journey for truth here.  I don't puport to know as much as some people, but, I think the path I follow will reveal something important.

So, that outlines my basic reasons for blogging.  Despite the fact that I have a wonderful wife and two wonderful sons, I still have enough incentive to spend what little extra time and energy I have typing opinions and arguments on the Internet.  I am a little bit afraid that $PLC might have a tiny little file for me somewhere on their system.  I'm also afraid that the strange laws being pushed right now here in Canada might be used to mess with my life.  I'm more concerned because of my family.  But, whatever happens in the future, it means more to me that I'll be able to look my children in the eyes and say that I stood for freedom and truth.

No comments: