Greg Swann challenges me, directly or indirectly, every time I go over to his blog. This time, he's taking Dr. Helen's challenge to name 5 reasons for a man to get married.
I crossed that bridge 10 years ago, so, I'm taking a slightly different approach. Personally, I have a different take on marriage the Greg. I believe that the purpose of a marriage is procreation. I understand why people might want to be married without the desire for kids, but, personally, I don't think marriage is necessary without the possibility of progeny.
Here are the five reasons why I'm glad that I am married.
1. Kids: This could be all I need, 1 to 5 right here. I truly think that having children is the highest expression of splendor available to humanity, sorry Greg. Every time I come home to see cheering faces expressing my own genes back to me, I thank the natural world from which I was spawned for this magical feeling. Having kids of one's own - just paused to get a massive, good-night hug from my younger of two, wow - is the greatest source of joy in my life. It really ties my heart to my neighbourhood. I have a connection to the future that wouldn't be possible.
Giving my children a stable family, based on a loving relationship between the two people with whom they share the greatest likeness in appearance and behaviour is, to use Mr. Swann's word again, absolute splendor.
2. Confidence: The non-denominational minister* who married us said something when I mentioned that my career wasn't exactly where I wanted it to be yet. He said, "Wait until you have your wife by your side supporting you. She'll give you the confidence you need to walk into an interview and land any job you want." There was some truth to that prediction. My wife is all the support group I'll ever need.
*I'm atheist, but when we met this man, who was recommended by the wedding venue management, we knew that he'd be just fine. He was funny, agreed not to say anything religious and it just saved our devout parents feelings somewhat. I'll never forget his booming voice proclaiming that we have forged a bond so mighty that "nothing on this earth can blow asunder!"
3. Devotion: Knowing someone will do what she can to help me achieve my own desires within this partnership. I am also bound to do what I can so that she can achieve her own desires. Luckily, we found each other and realized that our desires were aligned enough to agree to the contract. Marriage is a 1 for 1 deal. Each of us has given ourselves completely, 100% to the other. It's a big responsibility to accept another person completely and requires reciprocal, complete, devotion. We don't quibble over household chores. We each do what needs to be done to the best of our abilities and get on with our lives.
4. Challenge/Responsibility: The expectation to hold up your end of the deal keeps you focused on what matters. Sharing the responsibility of heading an organization devoted to supporting the health and happiness each other above all else is a feeling like none other.
5. Efficiency: Of course, I think about what would have happened if I hadn't gotten married and lived the bachelor life of some of my friends. The freedom I would have had in my career and finances might have been enjoyable and made things a lot easier. Would I be sitting here in front of my computer tonight or would I have been out seeing live music, on a fishing trip or visiting an exotic city. But the wealth I have attained now would be unattainable - no magical hugs, coaching youth sports or investment in the next generation. Considering the effort expended to obtain, grow and maintain this wealth, I need the efficiency that a marriage brings by sharing work load, doubling income and sharing of imaginations.
Knowing what I know now, I can't recommend marriage for every man. I believe that most men don't understand the risks and don't know enough about women and human nature to enter a marriage contract.
I lucked into a good marriage, because, I accurately assessed the quality of my wife's character when I decided to get married (and she must have seen something in me I didn't realize I had). Once I learned about female hypergamy, game and the other "red pill" truths, I realized what it took to be a strong husband in a good marriage and happiness flourished.